Trans Universe

By Monica F. Helms

I set this vacation aside to fly to San Diego so I could attend the wedding of my oldest son, Robert. Just so happened, the weekend had been also set aside by the planners of Southern Comfort for their yearly conference. I would miss seeing all of my friends by not being at SCC, but I would be spending time with friends and family in Southern California. I felt there would probably be disadvantages and advantages to both, and at the end, my feelings turned out correct.

Day One: My vacation actually started a day before I flew out to San Diego, giving me time to get ready for the trip. But, a day that would seem rather dull and mundane turned out to be an interesting one after all. Around 3 PM, I picked up my ex-girlfriend at the airport, because she came into town to attend Southern Comfort.

It felt nice to see Karen again, but the strong love I had for her had changed to a deep friendship. This friendship went far deeper and more diverse then our relationship had ever been. I still have a love for her, but it is the same kind of love I have for the few other people I call my best friends.

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Going back to Arizona has always been one of adventure and pain for me. I lived there most of my life, graduating high school there, I joined the Navy from there, I was married there, my two sons were born there, I was divorced there, I started my life as Monica there, and my father is buried there. All of my family, with the exception of my oldest son lives in Arizona. To say that Arizona holds an important place in my life would be like saying that air is important in my life. I can’t quit Arizona.

Most of the time when I go back to visit family in Arizona, it is near the end of the year, for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. This time, I was able to visit in March and April, when the temperatures were in the 80s and 90s. That’s tank top weather! I love being a girl.

Early in my trip, I got the chance to spend a little time with Serena Freewomyn, a writer for the popular blog, The Bilerico Project. I was always impressed with Serena’s viewpoint and her writing style. The Friday we got together was a fun evening. She brought two of her friends with her and they were a blast.

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When you first hold a brand new life in your hands, whether you are the father or the mother, your mind races on how they will turn out as adults. You could be holding a future President of the United States, or the next Ted Bundy. You never know what Fate has in store for your child, but you know part of their future is shaped by what you will do, or don’t do in the next 18 years . . . and beyond.

My two sons were born almost exactly 2 years apart and will be 26 and 24 in early June. Robert is the oldest and Bryan is the youngest. Bryan was born on my mother’s birthday and since the age of five he and her would go out to lunch or dinner to celebrate their birthdays together. Bryan never forgets. (more…)