This is a tribute to the many beautiful people in the transgender community. All are successful individuals who contribute to society and help others on a daily basis. This video doesn’t begin to highlight all the people who help make this world a better place to live in.
Editor’s note: First Person is a series of commentaries that give voice to those not commonly heard in Atlanta media.
After growing up a “typical boy,” marrying “the one” and fathering two children, Monica Helms finally acted on a lifelong desire to become a woman.
Sometime around the age of 4 or 5, I knew something was different about me. I was raised Catholic and you’re supposed to pray to God for things. So I prayed to God to turn me into a girl. I finally got to do it 41 years later, so I guess for God that’s like overnight delivery.
Several things slowed down my process of becoming a woman. I was the typical boy. I can honestly say that I was a tomboy in a boy’s body. I had loving parents and we always did things together, so I didn’t have time for a lot of introspective thinking. And I was the oldest child, so I didn’t have an older sister to emulate or to be jealous of. I was always attracted to women, so that was another part that didn’t clue me in. So there were a lot of things that got in the way of me realizing what I was.
By Monica F. Helms
There has been a lot of talk lately about transsexuals and the procedure known as “transitioning.” However, it seems that the only segment of a person’s transition which many want to focus on deals with just one part of this intense process, the physical transition.
The physical transition only encompasses the “technical” aspect of a transsexual’s life, where changes are made to the body to finally become the person they should have been born as. Some call their transsexualism a “birth defect,” while others consider it a blessing. But, no matter how one views it, making the physical changes are very important, but it does not mean they have completed their total transition.
Since much has been written about the physical transition, I’m going to focus on the other three, which in some ways could be more important. They are the “emotional transition,” the “psychological transition” and the “spiritual transition.”
By Monica F. Helms
I’m sure that many of the readers have been in a situation where they needed to make a left turn at an intersection with a left-turn arrow that lasts so short that only two or three cars can get through at a time, and you sit fifteen cars back. The other lights last for over two minutes each, making it a long wait before you can “transition” to the direction you needed to go. Frustration sets in, especially if you’re late for something. Many transsexuals can also get stuck in transition, waiting for their “trip” to be over. Is there such a thing as being stuck in transition?
First of all, in order to understand why a transsexual feels they get stuck in transition, you need to know the definition “transition.” There isn’t one. No real definition for transition can actually exist, because like a person’s gender identity and gender expression, how they define “transition” or “transitioning” becomes as personal as wearing cotton or silk underwear . . . or none at all. Since each person gets to decide what transition means to them, then no definition or description would be wrong. What we see as “wrong” takes place when a person feels their definition of transition has to be the only one other people have to follow in order to be correct.
Donna has been a long-time friend of mine since the early days of our transition in Arizona. We may not always see eye-to-eye, but we have remained friends through some tough times.
It seems that every year or two there is an article somewhere that some scientist or doctor has identified a biological “cause” for being gay or transgender. These kinds of things seem to get a significant amount of attention and then fade into obscurity until the next bombshell discovery is made. In 1993 there was much fanfare over an article published in Science magazine about the discovery of a “gay gene.” Did that settle the question of whether or not sexuality is biological or learned? Of course not. That investigation continues today.
The most recent revelation in this regard is a report out of Australia that scientists there have found a genetic link for transsexualism. This kind of research is looking to provide conclusive proof about something that many of us already know – that there is a biological connection to development of gender identity. Although many of us get excited and get our hopes up when we see this kind of news, I doubt any of us are naive enough to believe that this will be the be-all, end-all of research in that regard.
“Yer a cute girl.”
“I’ll let our mechanic take a look at this.”
“You still have a penis? Then you’re not really a woman.”
Yes, in order to communicate as a human being, we need to label things to give other people a better understanding on what it is we are talking about. If it weren’t for labels, we wouldn’t find the right foods in the grocery store. We have to have labels to take the correct drugs, in the correct combination and at the correct time. Harsh chemicals need labels to keep us from thinking we can use them in our mix drinks. Labels not only help make our lives easier, but safer.
No, the “Big O” is not about orgasms, or “Oprah,” or “Overstock.com.” This is about another Big O that is specific to pre-operative male-to-female transsexuals, one called an “Orchiectomy,” also called “Orchie” for short. Other words that are used to describe the procedure are; “gelding, neutering” and “orchidectomy.” In other words, “castration.”
One of the biggest health risks facing pre-op and non-op transsexuals is the same one that faces post-menopausal women: taking too much estrogen and testosterone blockers. There have been many studies done on the negative affects of estrogen and progesterone on a woman’s body over the years, some as recent as this year. On the ABC News, March 4, 2008, they had a story on how the affects of estrogen still lingers after a person stops taking it, specifically with breast cancer.
“Arrrrggg! Monica said the other s-word! She will burn in Hell for this!”
Okay, so that is a bit melodramatic, but after ten plus years living as a woman and interacting in the transgender community, I seem to get the impression that transsexuals, specifically transsexual women, are more prudish about sex and love than the Quakers were back in the 1700s. However, not 100% of the transsexual women I have met feel this way. For the most part, those not afraid of sex have wonderful loves in their lives and are happy.
Why are some transsexual women afraid of sex, or even afraid to discuss it? (I hesitate talking about the men, since I haven’t talked with them on this subject very much. But, I haven’t noticed any of them afraid of sex, or afraid to discuss it. If there are some, I would like someone to write about why.)
It is interesting to hear the various reasons trans women give for forgoing sexual contact with another person. One thing I hear some say is, “Estrogen made me lose my libido.” There is indeed a physical change in the libido level when a male-to-female transsexual begins hormone treatments. However, we have more control over our libido levels then we are sometimes willing to accept. (more…)
