Seems that the subject of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has gotten hotter than a dark-colored car in a Phoenix summer. Straight media, straight bloggers, gay media and gay bloggers have all chimed in with their opinions, comments and condemnations of this very discriminatory law. It all started when President Obama said he wanted to repeal DADT during his State of the Union Speech.

The Palm Center in Santa Barbara, CA sent out a list of “recommendations” on what they can do to help the Pentagon Working Group on gays in the military work this issue out smoothly. They are:

• Consulting existing literature as a roadmap;
• Assessing the Impact on Unit Cohesion Properly;
• Consulting troops for relevant information rather than to ask their permission for reform;
• Sending study teams to Britain, Israel, Australia, and Canada; Using an appropriate standard for assessing the likely impact of change;
• Consulting research on the timing of implementation;
• Noting that leadership and consistency are more important than second-order effects; and
• Correcting for biases introduced by “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

This looks to be a very good plan of action, but notice something is missing.

Through all of this, a part of the LGB**T** community gets intentionally left out. Once again, the Trans American Veterans Association will raise their voices to not only say that trans people should be allowed to serve openly, but will insist upon it.

Of course, this has never been a popular stance with gay and lesbian people who want to claim that because DADT only covers “sexual orientation” and that trans people are not affected by the law. (Could someone please bring out that dead horse again?) Let me remind those whose reality is something akin to what Alice saw in Wonderland. We have records, as does SLDN, of straight and asexual trans people who have been harassed under DADT and kicked out. And, as was pointed out in previous articles, trans people can be gay, lesbian or bisexual. DADT AFFECTS TRANS PEOPLE, TOO.

As I have said countless times in the past, the military has no concept of the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. To them, a heterosexual crossdresser is gay. A person who wishes to live the rest of their lives different from their birth sex, no matter who they are attracted, is gay. They only care about exercising their right to the legalized bigotry that DADT gives them.

Now, I’m hearing other trans people spouting defeatist attitudes toward ever seeing trans people serving openly in the military. Guess what. Some already have. We have passed onto SLDN several people who were allowed to start their transition before getting out. They used this information to help other trans people who were being forced out under DADT. Some even legally changed their name before getting out, assuring their DD-214 would have their new name. Another individual was called back to active duty AFTER she completed her transition and reported to SAC Headquarters during the first Gulf War. They had no problem with her change.

We have also pointed out that trans and trans-like people have served in every war this country has fought, since the beginning. It has been estimated that there are between 200,000 and 300,000 living trans veterans in the US today.

Add to all of this, Canada, Great Britain, Israel and Thailand are known to allow all trans people to serve openly. Australia and Spain allow only their trans men to serve openly. As been pointed out in the past, Canada allowed trans people to serve BEFORE allowing gay, lesbian and bisexual people could serve. The wheel has long since been invented for this.

We are also hearing the “hermaphrodite scare” cycling through the hatemonger organizations. “We can’t have hermaphrodites serving in the military!” Ah . . . reality check time. They’re already there.

According to medical science and the figures collected by the Intersex Society of North America, one in 500 people on planet Earth have some form of intersex condition. With 1.47 million active duty troops and another 1.46 million in the reserves, there are nearly six-thousand people in uniform who are intersexed. Seems the Pentagon is not too worried about this, so why should the rest of us be?

If the military wanted to weed out all intersex individuals, they would have to perform expensive special tests and medical exams by experts in the field. One of the tests would be to check the sex chromosomes on all three million service members. In the civilian world, that can cost somewhere around $800 dollars each. That would come to a total addition to the Defense Budget of another $2.344 billion dollars. Of course, in a military world famous for $1500 toilet seats and $700 hammers, you think they will pay only $800 for each test? Seems to be a hefty amount of tax dollars to spend on placating the hate mongers’ “concerns.”

And, we also heard the “bigotry-for-profit” groups hollering, “If we let gays serve in the military, we’ll have soldiers wearing dresses!” This is obviously coming from people who have never served in the military and have no concept of military rules and regulations. You see, the military has these clothing things called “uniforms.” It’s been sort-of a tradition with militaries since . . . oh say . . . before the ancient Egyptians.

Militaries today get real testy if a person is even slightly “out of uniform.” They are not noted for having a sense of humor when it comes to this. The military goes so far as to regulate size and type of earrings women can wear. Men cannot wear any earrings. So, the people who think male soldiers will get to wear dresses on a whim are doing nothing but instilling fear in the uneducated masses so they can convince them to send money to fight this scourge. The “bigotry-for-profit” groups are sending their children to college off the hard-earned money of ordinary Americans. It’s a scam worthy of the snake-oil salesmen in the old West.

Interesting enough, since DADT doesn’t have “gender identity of expression” in the language, it means that it doesn’t prevent trans people from serving in the military. For the most part, there are just policies and rules keeping trans people out of the military. President Obama may not be able to overturn DADT with an Executive Order, but he may be able to use one to allow trans people a chance to serve openly.

However, I doubt that any of the mostly-gay organizations would lift a finger to lobby the White House for that if it was proven possible. The incremental mindset many of the people running those organizations would not allow trans people to get something before gays and lesbians do. At least not in the good ‘ol U-S of A.

But, as we can all guess, President Obama will not be willing to spend one thin dime of his political capital to issue such an Executive Order. It becomes a moot point.

Here’s what trans people will face if they serve in the military or try to join after DADT is repealed. There is a policy in place preventing trans people from enlisting, and all the reasons the military used to kick them out before DADT will come back into play. Some uneducated commanders will think that because DADT has been repealed, their trans troops will be allowed to serve. I’m sure there will be people there to set them straight.

I feel that the repeal of DADT will put the wheels in motion to a day when trans people will be allowed to serve openly. This will not be an easy process, but if people are willing to stop throwing their hands in the air and giving up, then these rules can be changed. The trans community needs to work together with allies and ignore the perennial naysayers and those with a defeatist attitude that populate our community.

The repeal of DADT will not send intersex people to their recruiters in droves to sign up. And, if they did, so what? They have already served in honor. The repeal will not force male soldiers to wear dresses, regardless of what the hate mongers say. The repeal will take a tiny bit of pressure off of the trans troops, but they will still have to hide.

Even if trans people got the chance to serve openly, most would never tell anyone about being trans. The stigma that society has put on trans people would not be erased in an accepting US military, anymore then it does with trans people working in an accepting company. There will be a lot of work ahead of us if trans people want to serve openly in the military. We will never know if we can fix it if we don’t try.

The following is a plea to Congress and the President to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) HR-3017, which is currently stuck in the House Committee for Education and Labor, Chaired by Rep. George Miller.

LGBT Americans want to help get this country back on its feet, but can’t as long as most of the country can still legally discriminate against them.  We need ENDA and we need it passed NOW! There is no excuse to discriminate in the work place any longer.  None.

The eleven videos are of the 16 speakers who spoke at the Atlanta 2009 Transgender Day of Remembrance.  We had State Senator Vincent Fort as the Keynote speaker.  Atlanta Mayoral Candidate Kasim Reed spoke, as did Atlanta City Council Candidate Amir Farokhi.  There were some beautiful words spoken and some angry words spoken, but it was a beautiful event.
The videos are not in any particular order.  Please do not try to comment here on the blog because I am preventing the heavy amount of spam that I get.  Please either send me a comment on my E-mail address at: monicahelms@earthlink.net, or on the specific video on YouTube.

Pastor Paul Turner:

(Break)

State Senator Vince Fort:

Atlanta Mayoral Candidate Kasim Reed:

Allyson Robinson from DC, Pastor Elliot Summerville at 5:00 minutes:

Jamie Roberts:

Dr. Gwynedd Thomas and Cheryl Courtney-Evans at 3:00 minutes:

Anneliese Singh and Maru Gonzalez together and Juliana Illari at 5:30 minutes:

Monica Helms:

Sir Jesse McNulty and Amir Farokhi at 3:00 minutes:

Betty Couvertier:

Alicia Newson:

This is a short video put to music of photos takes at the Atlanta TDOR event, November 20, 2009. Also included are photos of those we lost, at least the ones we had photos of.

Kevin MacLeod’s “With the Sea” provided the perfect background music to this video.

(In order to prevent the constant spam that happens on my blog, please place your comments in the YouTube site.)

The following seven video are of the individual speakers at the rally in front of the Georgia State Capital building on November 14, 2009.  On the anniversary of Prop 8 and the loss in Maine, the Atlanta LGBT community rallied to vent their feelings and their anger.  One of the speakers was Mary Norwood, who is a candidate in the runoff election for the Mayor of Atlanta.  They are posted in order of appearance.

Edmund Thornton, the Chairperson of the Stonewall Young Democrats of Georgia:

Jeff Graham, Executive Director of Georgia Equality:

Mary Norwood:

Laura Gentle, Community Activist:

Wendy Spencer: Former radio host in Boston:

Monica Helms:

Alex Oxford, Community Activist:

American Veterans For Equal Rights president Danny Ingram and Transgender American Veterans Association president Monica Helms have made a joint YouTube video appeal to President Obama and Congress to Lift the Ban on LGBT military service by repealing Dont Ask Dont Tell.

On this Veterans Day, as President Obama considers sending more patriotic American troops to Afghanistan, AVER and TAVA remind the President of his campaign promise to repeal DADT.

Send the link to others and your Congressional reps.  Here is the video:

Monica Helms, transsexual Navy veteran

Editor’s note: First Person is a series of commentaries that give voice to those not commonly heard in Atlanta media.

After growing up a “typical boy,” marrying “the one” and fathering two children, Monica Helms finally acted on a lifelong desire to become a woman.

Sometime around the age of 4 or 5, I knew something was different about me. I was raised Catholic and you’re supposed to pray to God for things. So I prayed to God to turn me into a girl. I finally got to do it 41 years later, so I guess for God that’s like overnight delivery.

Several things slowed down my process of becoming a woman. I was the typical boy. I can honestly say that I was a tomboy in a boy’s body. I had loving parents and we always did things together, so I didn’t have time for a lot of introspective thinking. And I was the oldest child, so I didn’t have an older sister to emulate or to be jealous of. I was always attracted to women, so that was another part that didn’t clue me in. So there were a lot of things that got in the way of me realizing what I was.

(Break)

I started cross-dressing in 1974, right smack-dab in the middle of my Navy career when I was based in Charleston. It was the deepest, darkest secret in my entire life. I would tell someone that I’d murdered someone before I’d tell someone I cross-dressed. It was scary, because I knew that if I got caught I would get kicked out. So all I did then was dress up at home. Then I got transferred to the Bay Area in 1976, and I had a little more accessibility to a community that was just ready to explode. Talk about stepping out of your boundaries into a whole new world! When I started cross-dressing and going to the gay clubs, I felt like I could be out in public as myself.

I got out of the Navy in 1978 and went to junior college, where I met my wife.  I just knew that she was “the one,” but I couldn’t ask her to marry me until I told her about my cross-dressing. So I told her, and I thought she understood. It wasn’t until later that I realized she didn’t. Later on, she denied that I told her. When she caught me cross-dressing, she just went ballistic. We had two sons together.

It took me until 1987 to realize that not only was I a cross-dresser, but I was transsexual. When I told my parents that I wanted to transition, my mother looked at me and said, “I only wish you were just gay.” My father had diabetes and Alzheimer’s and he wasn’t in that great of shape. My mother insisted that I not see him ever again. So I lived five miles from the house that I grew up in and I couldn’t even go in the house. I’d drive by and I’d see my father out in the yard and my mother outside.

I didn’t start transitioning until 1992, when I started taking hormones. I started living full time as a woman in 1997. My wife and I separated and then got a legal divorce the next year. I moved from Arizona to Atlanta in 2000. I quickly got involved in activism and became the executive director of Trans=Action, Georgia’s trans advocacy organization, and became a member of the Pride Parade’s color guard. In 2003, I co-founded the Transgender American Veterans Association and later became the first transgender person from Georgia to be a delegate for the Democratic National Convention.

In 2004, my father was dying. I was waiting in an airport to take a flight out there and I got a call from my son saying that my father had just died. So I never got to look into his eyes and tell him that I loved him to his face.

My mother and I now have been much better. The relationship with my sons has been rocky and then good, then rocky and then good. When my oldest son joined the Marines and got out of boot camp, our relationship was a lot better because I was in the military, so that brought us closer together. My youngest son and I have always had some problems, but I think it’s a little better now. He’s the father of my only grandchild.

Both of my sons are married to Hispanic women, which I find very cool. My wife and I were very good about accepting diversity, at least diversity in race. My wife wasn’t so good about diversity in gender identity issues. My sons had friends of all different races throughout the course of their lives, and that is one of the things that I’m very proud of.

There’s a lot of humor in this life — a heck of a lot of it that people don’t seem to understand. Last year I was in California for my oldest son’s wedding, so you can imagine what that was like. “Um, this is my dad, Monica.” We’ve got CNN on our television at work and stories about people like Chaz Bono might come up, and there’s all sorts of discussion — and they turn to me and ask me questions about this stuff. I find it interesting that I can help educate my co-workers. They treat me with respect.

There are quite a few misconceptions about transsexual people. A lot of people think that a person who wants to dress up as a woman is gay. That’s a big misconception. Gender identity has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. There are transsexuals who are homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual and asexual. There are drag queens who are not gay.

There is blatant discrimination against transgender people, especially in Georgia. Employers will tell you, “We’re not going to hire you, because you’re a freak.” And they can get away with it. The state of Georgia doesn’t care. That’s why we need a national law.

It’s been over 12 years that I’ve been living as Monica. When I finally accepted and believed that I was a woman, I became a lot more confident in myself, and it made a big difference in a lot of other things that I do. You just reach a point where you can live your life like you would want to, no matter what.

There has been a lot of talk lately about transsexuals and the procedure known as “transitioning.”  However, it seems that the only segment of a person’s transition which many want to focus on deals with just one part of this intense process, the physical transition.

The physical transition only encompasses the “technical” aspect of a transsexual’s life, where changes are made to the body to finally become the person they should have been born as.  Some call their transsexualism a “birth defect,” while others consider it a blessing.  But, no matter how one views it, making the physical changes are very important, but it does not mean they have completed their total transition.

Since much has been written about the physical transition, I’m going to focus on the other three, which in some ways could be more important.  They are the “emotional transition,” the “psychological transition” and the “spiritual transition.”

(Break)

The psychological and emotional transitions are so intertwined that I will talk about them together.  These two transitions can be a life-long process, based on all of the factors in a person’s life and their personality, affected by all that preceded their physical transition.   Their family history, job history, relationship history, social history, and even their military history can affect the psychological and emotional transitions that a transsexual goes through.

Some transsexuals experience fear, anger, paranoia, jealousy, selfishness, narcissism, depression, violence and even self-destructive tendencies.  Drug use, alcohol abuse and unsafe sex happen often in the lives of some transsexuals.  Some feel sad, some feel lonely and others think the whole world is out to get them.

One reading this might think that transsexuals can be a truly screwed up bunch of people.  That would be far from the truth.  Transsexuals can also be happy, content, giving, up beat, helpful, loving, generous, considerate, kind and caring.  Our course, like the complexity of the human race, transsexuals usually have a mixture of what I mentioned in the previous paragraph and in this paragraph.

Many trans people came from loving homes, have a spouse and children who love them, even after the physical transition ended.  Many become active in the local community, the community at large, political organizations, their places of worship, their schools and their jobs.  And yet, too many experienced sexual, physical, emotional, mental and even religious abuse as young children.  Like non-trans people who have also had those experiences, the scars follow them through life.

Hey!  Transsexuals can have all the same personality traits, psychological issues and emotions problems as found in the rest of the human population.  A person’s gender issues can, in some cases, enhance some of the problems mentioned above, or have no affect at all.  All of human nature has to go through various degrees of psychological and emotional transition to make it through life.  Transsexuals are no different in many respects.

When people try to put highly complex humans in neat little boxes, they fail miserably.  Even if a person places themselves in a box, their psychological and emotional transitions may cause them to have to expand that box, or move to a completely new one.  “Change” remains the only constant in people’s lives.

A life in stagnation leads to issues that will usually enhance the negative aspect of a person’s psyche and emotions.  Moving forward – transitioning – allows growth in many areas.  Transsexuals pride themselves in how well they make things happen in their physical transition.  Some even brag about it or belittle others for the slowness of their transition, or the lack thereof.  Sadly, many fail to put the same effort into their psychological and emotional transitions as they do in their physical one.  Have they really transitioned at all?  Does their anger really make their transitions more fulfilling?  I wonder.

I saved the fourth one for last.  One also needs to make a spiritual transition to truly complete the journey they started as a young child.  This usually becomes a very complicated transition, one that can be as diverse as human beings themselves.  A spiritual transition may involve an established religion, maybe a form of internal spirituality, or something as simple as being one with oneself or a higher power.  Spiritually comes from within and does not need to ever be expressed to anyone else.  However, some feel more spiritual in comfortable surroundings with others.

I have a good friend who identifies as an atheist, yet through the strife she has experienced in her life, she has become more spiritual without the need to believe in an omnipotent being.  She says “Love” is her higher power.  I have to say that because of that specific higher power in her life, I have seen her transition in a spiritual way that has made a big difference in her life.  Others may not need such an intense spiritual transition, but this change worked for my friend.  Her spiritual transition has opened my eyes at all of the possibilities that exist.

Through all of these four transitions, where do I place myself?  As far as the physical transition, it’s been not so satisfying at best.  I have no difficulty passing, and have been accepted in women’s spaces very easily for the last decade, but I am selective on where I will go and under what circumstances.  I haven’t stopped this transition, by no means, but Fate has stopped it for me.  It can’t stop me forever.  A majority of transsexuals understand my dilemma and frustration, but others don’t.  Their opinion is not MY problem, but theirs.

However, when it comes to my psychological, emotional and spiritual transitions, I am in a far better place than I have been in my entire life.  Many people helped me transition in those areas, and they continue to help today.  Even though I am the happiest I have ever been in my life and have come a long way, I’m willing to admit I will never be totally done with any of those transitions.  No one ever finishes those three.  Only death stops the process . . . except maybe . . . the spiritual transition.

For any transsexual who says they are done with their (physical) transition, they forget that life has much more in store for them.  Like all other human beings, we never stop “transitioning,” because that’s Life.

On October 20, 1994, the Navy lifted the ban on women serving on combat ships when the aircraft carrier Dwight D. Eisenhower (CVN 69) became the first US warship to deploy with women, departing Norfolk, Va. with 367 female sailors.  Six years later, in spring of 2000, Captain Kathleen McGrath became the first woman to command a combat vessel when she took over the frigate Jarrett, a 453-foot warship, with a 262-member crew.

On April 1, 1900, the US Navy commissioned their first submarine, the USS Holland (SS-1.)  In that short time, submarines have proven their worth to the fleet and our country.  In WWII, submarines sank 55% of all of the tonnage during the war, with just 1% of the Naval personnel.  However, they lost 52 submarines, 18% of all submarines which saw combat duty, and 3505 men, 13.3% of all of the WWII submarine personnel.  They know first hand that freedom is not free.

(Break)

During the Cold War, submarines protected our country from attack from the Soviet Union by patrolling the oceans with multi-warhead ballistic missiles.  I served on one of them.  During Operation Desert Storm, the USS Louisville (SSN-724,) became the first submarine since WWII to enter into combat, launching a Tomahawk missile on a target in Iraq, January 19, 1991.

When the Navy allowed women to serve on combat ships in 1994, submarines remained the only ones that women still could not serve on.  However, that may soon come to an end.  In an article in the Navy Times, SecNav, CNO: Women should serve on subs, posted September 25, 2009, and another one from Reuters on the same day called US military may lift ban on women in submarines, the Secretary of the Navy and the Chief of Naval Operations both agree that the time has come to finally allow women to serve on submarines.  I guarantee you submariners are spitting vile on this issue.

However, in spite of what the Navy might think, women have already served on submarines.  They serve today and have done so for the last 100 years.  Sure, they didn’t appear as women at the time, but they were women nevertheless.  Over the last 13 years, I have met – either in person or on line – at least 30 or more transsexual women who served on submarines.

It stands to reason that in order for the Navy to truly understand the intricacies of cis-women on submarines, they only need to ask trans women who have already served on them.  I felt the need to point this out to the CNO and NAVSEC, so I sent the following letter to each of them.

Dear . . . ,

I have read a few articles on the idea of integrating women on board submarines.  You may find this a bit out of the ordinary and possible hard to believe, but I served on two submarines from 1972 to 1978 . . . and . . . I am a woman.

How is that possible?  I wasn’t a woman when I was in the Navy, but I am today.  As a woman with a transsexual history, I approach the idea of women serving on submarines from a whole different and unique perspective then any other person will . . . except other transsexual women who have also served on submarines.  In the 12 years of living as a woman, I not only advocate women serving on submarines, I know how it can be done and where on the different subs in can be done.  I have also met over 30 other transsexual women who are former submariners.  One of them attended a recent reunion of the ship she was on.

This is an issue that is going to be hard for men to understand, especially submariners.  But, former submariners who are now living as women can not only speak the language of that most unique part of the Navy, but fully understand the issues women can also face in that environment.

Submariners are a very proud and traditional group of men that are proud of their service for their country.  The trans women who also have served on submarines are no less proud of what they have done for their country.  Some are now lawyers, engineers, doctors and a host of other professions.  I, myself, work in the telecommunication business, and have done so for the last 20 years.

I know of one trans woman who served on six submarines and reach the rank of Lt. Commander.  She was a Navigator on her last boat.  She remained in Active Reserves and transitioned to become a woman.  Being in Active Reserves, she was required to wear a woman’s Navy uniform and on it, she had her gold Dolphins.  Needless to say, that surprised a few people.

I am going to suggest that if you were to speak with a few of us “Lady Bubbleheads,” you maybe surprised to find that we could approach the concept of integrating women on board submarines in a way that would make the transition smooth for both the women and the men.

I know the news media would go bananas if they were to catch wind of you talking with transsexuals who are former submariners on how to integrate women on subs.  We’re not asking to be public about it.  That’s your decision.  I’m only offering the knowledge from our special perspective, one that could add a few more torpedoes to the Torpedo Room in you approach to the Armed Service Committee.  Submariners always understand on how to sneak up on someone without them knowing it.  We would like to see this happen and we are willing and ready to help you make it happen.  Thank you for your time.

Monica F. Helms

President, Transgender American Veterans Association

Okay, I’m not thinking that the underlings of these two men will allow their bosses to read the letters.  However, the possibility still does exist that they just may read those letters, but responding to them still seems a bit far-fetched.  Yet, it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.

As much as they would like to, the Navy cannot ignore the fact that trans people have served amongst their ranks on all ships and all parts of the Navy.  They may have kept cis-women off of submarines for 109 years, but we were there the whole time.  Maybe the Navy should take advantage of that.

The following are the videos from the Atlanta Eagle protest at the Atlanta City Hall, September 19, 2009 I was only able to get seven out of the 11 speakers. Either I didn’t get footage on the speaker, or the footage I got was corrupt. The four missing speakers were Craig Washington, Deepali Gokhale, Alex Hicks and myself.

Jeff Graham:

(Break)

Officer Dani Lee Harris:

Laura Gentle:

Justin Zeigler:

Mike Alvear:

Brad Ploegar:

Patti Ellis: