BECOMING HERSELF: Monica Helms spent four decades as a man before switching sexes — and finding true confidence.
Editor’s note:First Person is a series of commentaries that give voice to those not commonly heard in Atlanta media.
After growing up a “typical boy,” marrying “the one” and fathering two children, Monica Helms finally acted on a lifelong desire to become a woman.
Sometime around the age of 4 or 5, I knew something was different about me. I was raised Catholic and you’re supposed to pray to God for things. So I prayed to God to turn me into a girl. I finally got to do it 41 years later, so I guess for God that’s like overnight delivery.
Several things slowed down my process of becoming a woman. I was the typical boy. I can honestly say that I was a tomboy in a boy’s body. I had loving parents and we always did things together, so I didn’t have time for a lot of introspective thinking. And I was the oldest child, so I didn’t have an older sister to emulate or to be jealous of. I was always attracted to women, so that was another part that didn’t clue me in. So there were a lot of things that got in the way of me realizing what I was.
There has been a lot of talk lately about transsexuals and the procedure known as “transitioning.” However, it seems that the only segment of a person’s transition which many want to focus on deals with just one part of this intense process, the physical transition.
The physical transition only encompasses the “technical” aspect of a transsexual’s life, where changes are made to the body to finally become the person they should have been born as. Some call their transsexualism a “birth defect,” while others consider it a blessing. But, no matter how one views it, making the physical changes are very important, but it does not mean they have completed their total transition.
Since much has been written about the physical transition, I’m going to focus on the other three, which in some ways could be more important. They are the “emotional transition,” the “psychological transition” and the “spiritual transition.”
On October 20, 1994, the Navy lifted the ban on women serving on combat ships when the aircraft carrier Dwight D. Eisenhower (CVN 69) became the first US warship to deploy with women, departing Norfolk, Va. with 367 female sailors. Six years later, in spring of 2000, Captain Kathleen McGrath became the first woman to command a combat vessel when she took over the frigate Jarrett, a 453-foot warship, with a 262-member crew.
On April 1, 1900, the US Navy commissioned their first submarine, the USS Holland (SS-1.) In that short time, submarines have proven their worth to the fleet and our country. In WWII, submarines sank 55% of all of the tonnage during the war, with just 1% of the Naval personnel. However, they lost 52 submarines, 18% of all submarines which saw combat duty, and 3505 men, 13.3% of all of the WWII submarine personnel. They know first hand that freedom is not free.
The following are the videos from the Atlanta Eagle protest at the Atlanta City Hall, September 19, 2009 I was only able to get seven out of the 11 speakers. Either I didn’t get footage on the speaker, or the footage I got was corrupt. The four missing speakers were Craig Washington, Deepali Gokhale, Alex Hicks and myself.
This is the first time I have used my blog to ask for people respond to a new project I am working on. I have gotten into video production for the first time in 20 years, and as you probably know, a lot has changed in the past 20 years. I was using huge, clunky three-tube cameras and 3/4 inch video tape. Today, you can get high-quality images with the small digital cameras. The editing programs makes the process a dream. I’m in love with this new century.
The one thing about video production over the years was that it was not a one-person job. This is why I am posting this new blog article. I would like to put together a list of people that have different talents that could be helpful in video production. The following is a list of talents I am looking for.
Actors, voice-over talent, camera people, sound engineers, video editors, marketing people, graphic artists, animators, special effects techs, stunt people, musicians, and composers.
Also, those who have equipment can also be important:
People who have studio cameras, camcorders, digital still cameras, mics, mic stands, lights, tripods, audio recorders, appropriate cables and adapters.
I’m sure you maybe asking what do I bring to this. The first time I picked up a movie camera, it was a regular 8 camera when I was in my early teens in the 1960s. In the Navy, I owned Super 8 cameras, some with sound, and all the proper editing equipment.
When I got out of the Navy, monochrome analog video equipment became available, but a a very high price. Equipment improved, and I got better at using. I was in the video production business for seven years and received an AA degree in video production.
Today, I use Sony’s Vegan Movie Studio 9.0 for editing. I have a Tascam US-122 audio interface a Marantz professional audio recorder, a Sony mic mixer, and a Panasonic digital camera. What I need is be able to call a person who has something that can be used for a production. Eventually, we may even make money.
The bottom line is to have a database of talent and equipment where my production company can become the place to provide contacts with the proper people. I hope that if you have the talent, equipment or both, you would consider allowing me to put you in this database. Send a private E-mail to monicahelms@earthlink.net.
The following video is something I was asked to do. A friend asked me to send in a bio of myself for Southern Comfort, so I decided to do it in a unique way, on video. The music is by Kevin MacLeod and it is called “Long Road Ahead.”
The year 1969 has become an important year in history for many reasons.Some huge events affected the entire world, such as Neal Armstrong walking on the Moon, July 20, 1969.Others affect me in a more personal way, such as my graduation from high school.Hurricane Camille affected the lives of over a million Gulf Coast people on August 17, 1969.And one event, the Stonewall Riots in New York City, impacted my life many years into then future.
However, another event, the Woodstock Music Festival, defined my entire generation and in many ways, defined who I am and who I have become.It lasted from August 15 to August 18, 1969.
At age 18 and living in Phoenix, AZ, I didn’t hang out with the right crowd of people who would have known of Woodstock ahead of time, or would have driven the 2500 miles to get there.I saw bits and pieces on the evening news, but had no idea the scope of the event.My friends and I starting talking about it a month after because all of the print media on it.Information didn’t get out as quickly in 1969 as it does today.The World Wide Web was nothing more than a gleam in Al Gore’s eye at the time.
Over the 12 years of living my life as Monica, I have been privileged to learn many things about the TBLG community, but mostly about the trans community.The biggest lesson in my short life as a woman has been the diversity of our people.Trans individuals have covered every segment of human experience since the dawn of time.We span all races, all sexual orientations, all gender identities, all gender expressions, all social and economic levels, all job experiences, all education levels, all ages and all health issues.If every American trans person populated just one city in America, it would be the third largest city in the country and every job in the city would be covered.
When I moved to Atlanta in 2000, I received the most important part of my education on diversity, that of the African American community.Living in Phoenix most of my life, I received a big education on the Latino and Native cultures of our population, but not much on the African American culture.But, coming to Atlanta had been the biggest eye-opener for me in finding out about the rich history – and sometimes tragic history – of my African American brothers and sisters.Moving here has proven to be one of the best decisions in my life.
It took my awhile, but I finally edited the video of the March for Transgender Rights.
This is the video of the March that took place through Little Five Points to the First Existential Church. Before the march started we see speeches from Dee Dee Chamblee, Cheryl Courtney Evans and Sir Jesse McNulty.
On June 27, 2009, the Transgender Community of Georgia gather at the First Existential Church in Atlanta, to honor the transgender heroes of the Stonewall Riots, 40 years ago in Greenwich Village.We had 300 people packed into the church to hear inspirational speeches from Pastor Paul Turner, Tracee McDaniel and Dr. Maxwell Anderson.
The six people who spoke that day are shown here in videos.We made a video for each speaker, presented in order from when they spoke.
We also presented to Georgia State Senator Vincent Fort and State Representative Karla Drenner a parchment with three of the most important concerns of the Transgender Community of Georgia.They promised us that they will read the list on the floor of the Georgia House and Senate during the next session in January.
The first video is that of Pastor Paul Turner.Pastor Turner gave the opening prayer and then spoke later on.I edited these two together for convenience.
I have this wonderful part of my being that I like to pull out and play with every so often.Okay.I suppose that sentence could have been written differently. I am referring to my “imagination.”My imagination has play tricks on me quite often, but then I get many chances to tame it with the wave of my typing fingers.This happens to be one of those times.
On June 28, 1969, at about 3 AM EDT, one of the most pivotal events in LGBT history took place in front of the Stonewall Inn on Christopher St. in Greenwich Village.Like a super nova, the explosion that happened that morning expanded rapidly outward to engulf the entire planet with the sounds of millions clamoring for their equality and freedom.The events from that moment in time have continued to expand even today, 40 years later.
But, I have to ask the one most important question that hides within my imagination, waiting for the next time to appear.“What if?”Countless fiction writers have made a comfortable living asking those two famous words.So, I ask the question with the qualifying words that allow this piece of writing to continue.“What if the trans people at the Stonewall Inn that night did not have the guts to start the riots?”
