Men in Dresses? In the Military? I don’t @!* think so!
March 21st, 2009By Monica F. Helms
The impending repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell hangs over Bigot Americans like a specter of doom that will reach biblical proportions. In other words, they lack a strong grip on reality. They will do anything it takes to instill fear on the unknowing masses, stopping short of predicting the coming of The Rapture. Well, maybe they won’t stop short of that.
In this endless process of misinformation and out-and-out lies, the one part of the LGBT community that they like pointing to in order to generate the most fear are transgender people. They will always gravitate to the worn-out, standard line from the Bigot’s Handbook (Volume 17, 5th Edition, page 963,) “Men in dresses.” If all else fails, they can always throw out “Men in dresses,” even if it has nothing to do with transgender people. To Bigot Americans, ALL gay men wear dresses. That’s BS to the max. Hell, I know several trans women and lesbians who wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress.
Let me show the important points in this latest round of lies that the BAs like to gloss over or don’t wish people to know about.
(Break)
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell does not cover gender identity or expression.
It should have, but sadly it doesn’t. No one thought that transgender people actually served in the military. The possibility was too outrageous to everyone, including gays and lesbians. They forgot about Christine Jorgensen. We were nothing more than an after thought once again.
The military thinks that anyone who wishes to change their sex is automatically gay. However, transsexuals will still be subjected to discharge under different rules after DADT becomes history. Also, any man caught crossdressing off duty will be subjected to these same rules.
I’m wondering if anyone could dodge the bullet on this by saying they were gay and pointed out that DADT has been repealed. Some may get away with it if they have a stupid commander, but I wouldn’t recommend this path. It could catch up to them later. The best bet would be to have the Department of Defense address this issue separately so transgender people can also serve openly, like they can in six other countries.
Military people wear standard uniforms.
All I can say to this is “DUH!” We have an all-volunteer military, so everyone serving asked for that job. If a person takes a job, then they follow the rules set down in the workplace. Plane and simple. Besides the military, many other jobs require a person to wear a uniform. If you do the work, then you dress the part. Men will NOT be wearing dresses while on duty. Reality is not a Korean War sitcom.

In all the state and local jurisdictions where laws have been passed to protect transgender people in employment – some going back to the early 1990s – there has not been one case where a man came to work wearing a dress and got fired. Workplaces have dress codes that are gender specific, so if a person wants to keep their job, then they will follow these guidelines. However, dress codes should not be used as a weapon to prevent transsexuals from transitioning. It would be the same in the military.
The area where Bigot Americans seem to have a problem pertains to a transsexual who begins living full time in their target gender. The BAs insist that no one can change their sex, so transsexuals should be considered “men in dresses.” What about “women in pants” when it comes to FtMs? I don’t seem to hear that bantered around much.
Luckily, a good portion of large corporations and many smaller companies now understand the process and allow their transsexual employees to wear the gender specific clothing or uniforms appropriate for their new gender. So, that means that if a male-to-female transsexual is allowed to transition in the military, they would not be considered “men in dresses.” Corporations already have a handle on that and so would the military.

Some gays and lesbians refuse to discuss transgender people in the military.
The Transgender American Veterans Association has heard over and over and over that when DADT gets brought up, transgender people have to be left out. When this first came up, the excuse we heard was, “DADT only covers sexual orientation.” TAVA knew that transgender people had been targeted and discharged under DADT, but without any proof, the ones protecting the integrity of the wording in the Military Readiness Enhancement Act could easily blow us off. The specter of “men in dresses” scares them as much as it does the Bigot Americans.
But, the excuse given to keep us from being covered has now been proven to be nothing more than smoke and mirrors. I have to keep bringing up the TAVA Survey, because the facts can no longer be ignored. We have the proof of what we have been saying all along, but the guardians of the bill still will not listen. Their “baby” has grown up to a whole new world and it needs to reflect that new world.
What is wrong with creating a whole new bill that allows all LGB AND T people to serve openly, instead of just repealing the existing law? The new bill covering all of us would not only trump the existing law, thus repealing it, but allow for transgender people to serve openly in the military. When the legislators originally wrote the bill, we had a Republican-controlled government, so they went for the bare bone. We now have a government who will pass a more comprehensive bill, so why are the gay and lesbians working on this issue still running scared? I’ll tell you why. “Men in dresses.”
As I stated above, six countries allow transgender people to serve openly. Canada, UK, Israel, and Thailand allow all of their transgender people to serve, whereas Australia and Spain allow FtM transsexuals to serve openly. If they have figured it out, then I would hope that America is smart enough to also figure it out. But, the truth of the matter has nothing to do with “figuring it out.” The legislators sponsoring this bill and the gays and lesbians pushing for it lack the will power to do the right thing. Because other countries have figured this out without any problems, then we won’t be inventing the wheel. Too bad some people feel scared of doing the right thing.
Reality check on transgender people in the military.
Who are the idiots out there who think that just because a person identifies as being trans, they can’t control themselves and have to dress in women’s clothes on duty, as if they had some form of “fashion terrett syndrome?” From personal experience and from knowing hundreds of other transgender veterans, they have far more control over their gender issues then the hundreds of men who can’t control their urge to commit rape.
Some, not all, transgender military people (specifically MtF) will crossdress off duty, off base, when on liberty or leave. They shouldn’t be penalized for this. When they go back to duty, they will make sure no evidence, regardless of how small it could be, will be left on their bodies. They would not shave their legs or body hair, but would never grow a beard unless being at sea for many months, or in a war zone. Their clothes would be tucked away at a civilian friend’s house, a bus station locker, in the trunk of their car, or any other place where no one in the military would find them. Conversely, FtM military people could get away with looking as butch as possible, both on and off duty. Still, that doesn’t protect them from the DADT wolves.
Up until the 1990s and the extensive use of the Internet, transgender people in the military did not have a lot to go on when it came to the feelings they had. Most thought that no one else in the world felt like them. They knew of Renee Richards, Wendy Carlos and Christine Jorgensen, but could not be sure if their life needed to go in that direction. Many joined the military so it could “make a man out of them,” but that didn’t work. During the Vietnam Era, some join to have the Viet Cong “take care of their problem,” but instead, they came home with the same “problem’ and new ones to boot. No matter why they joined, their secret would be one they would take to their grave. The “men in dresses” BS that Bigot Americans like tossing out would be the last thing they would ever think of.
Looking back on my time in the military, I remember one thing that makes me still smile today when I think about it. When out on patrol on a submarine, we knew the very day we would return, like clockwork. In the middle of the patrol, we would have what we called, “Halfway Night.” During the celebration, we would have contests, some would sing or play guitars, I played a kazoo and others would do skits. Inevitably, there was always one person who just so happened to have all the necessary items to dress as a woman for a skit. Looking back at that, I now understand why.
The subject of gays in the military will not be put to rest, even after DADT is repealed. There will always be Americans who will never accept this, even if a decade passes without incident. A transgender person serving openly is another subject all together, yet we can serve just as well as gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight people can. The military has set rules for uniforms, so even a transitioning transsexual will be required to dress appropriately for their new gender. And, if six other countries can do this, then so can we.
Transgender people have enough problems bucking the system on this issue without having our gay and lesbian friends make fun of us or intentionally hold us back because of being afraid that we would upset the delicate senses of the legislators. We see yet another situation where transgender people are being told, “We’ll come back for you later.” Too bad, but “later” is NOW, and we have all the proof to show why. Take your heads out of the sand and let’s do the right thing for once. And, don’t let me ever hear a gay man or lesbian use “men in dresses” when talking about transgender people in the military, even if it’s in a joking manner.
March 21st, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Hi Monica,
Now, you know me. You know I’m trans (going full time this summer – yay!). You also know that, although I’m not a veteran, I was raised in an Air Force family, and I’ve spent my entire professional career, since ‘81, working for defense contractors. I spent 13 years designing battle management systems for Star Wars. (opening for snide comments left for whoever wants them…
I want to talk about your points that I agree with, and then offer some other views on some of these points.
I completely agree with the whole “men in dresses” crap. It’s the same crap that the right wing tried to pull in Maryland “you’ll have men in dresses in the bathroom with your daughter!” Oh please. Kids are in much more peril from a right wing evangelist preacher than a transsexual (check the statistics…).
When I read your blog up there, it seems like you’re talking about 2 separate issues – whether the military should allow folks to transition in the force, and the LGB v T schism we seem to have going. I’ll talk about the 2nd one, briefly, first.
I’m not really sure why our LGBT community seems to divide up into smaller and smaller groups. In Baltimore a couple of weeks ago, 2 lesbians beat up a couple of FtMs at a lesbian bar. I’ve seen trans groups get very exclusive – one won’t let folks in unless they’re bound and determined to have every surgery in the book, and the another kicks folks out if they’re CD then decide to go full time. I’ve heard folks say, even of themselves “oh, I’m only a CD” — “only” ? As if they’re relegating themselves to being 2nd or 3rd class citizens. It’s not like all of us don’t have enough enemies, what the heck is going on that we have to look at each other and denigrate this group or that group because they’re not the same as us? If we can understand why subgroups within LGBT don’t like each other, maybe we’ll get some vision into why the straight world and the BAs don’t like us as well.
So, I’m just posing that question – I have no idea what the answer is.
On transitioning in the military: I have friends, gay friends, who were incredibly enthusiastic members of the reserve, and just got back and headed up to MA to marry their partner. I have made wonderful friendships with the military folk I’ve worked with over my career. I want to make it very clear that I have an immense amount of respect for our military and the vast majority of the folks in our armed forces.
However, there are some real assholes out there. My ex-brother-in-law, for example. He still believed that letting women into the Armed Forces was the biggest mistake ever made. And he was an officer. I have no doubt that if he knew there was some gay guy in his unit, he’d look the other way if the guy got beat up. Or killed. And he’d laugh about it later.
I want to make it clear here that I’m not arguing about whether trans folks should have the right to be in the military. I agree with you, they should have that right. However, if I’m the commander of some unit, and I know there are severely homophobic people in my unit, is it fair to the trans person to have them in my unit, where I probably won’t be able to physically protect them 24/7? Regardless of how good the trans’ persons skills are, is it worth having the homophobes creating dissent and discord, and a dangerous situation for the trans person? I guess I’m arguing the “unit cohesion” argument, but from a different angle. If I was the commander, and I was like “oh sure, it’s great, come transfer to my unit” and my subordinates off this poor person, how would I feel?
I really agree with you, very strongly, LGBT folks should have the legal right to be in the military. I’m not sure it’s a safe place to be, all the time. And I don’t understand why we, a minority, insist on splitting ourselves up into smaller and smaller minorities (LGB v T, then the T’s split up into TSs vs CDs… what’s next?) and keep fighting. Sometimes I wonder whether we’ll do ourselves in without help from the right wing.
Again, thanks for all you’ve done, and will continue to do. I hope I don’t get too flamed for this – however, I just have questions. maybe more discussion will help.
cheers
Jude
March 21st, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Wow! The author seems to be lashing out at everyone including the G.& L.s. Just what the anti-trans camp wants to rally their troops against us……..a “national securtity” issue to scare their agenda into the minds of America.
Ms. Helms, I suggest you pick your fights a little more carfully. The trans community isn’t ready to take on the military. Sorry, but that’s reality if we like it or not.
March 22nd, 2009 at 5:19 am
Firstly, it should be noted that according to the U.S. Army EEO Office and TRADOC in 2005, I am the first person to openly transition on an Army Post. That experience makes for a very interesting and painfully colored picture of the bias and bigotry within the military. Secondly, it should be understood that the military like all of society is spectrum comprised of the best and the worst of humans. It, however, is also steeped in tradition and customs that are often vulgar and low level in practice. By nature the military executes its Warfighter practices at the most base of character and animal fashion. That is important to understand.
I agree that the blog expresses anger, but “rightfully” so if you consider the fixed nature of the military, the ignorance maintained by the administration (most of the assholes are still seated), and the GLB’s dismissive attitude. Even many Transgender are as well biased and treat the greater issues wrongfully so as to have their way. I am afraid that the blood of many Trans – Sisters and Brothers will continue to be shed. It should not be so. Dialog does not exist because there is bias and hate from both sides of the issues. It is no less an abridgement of free speech to censor for political correctness, than it is to press disinformation. As long as the bias also includes GLBt politically correct and narrow vision, discrimination against the Transgender will continue.
April 19th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Men should be able to wear a dress when ever, and where ever he chooses i want to wear a dress too.